What Now?
by Jo7
Summary: Part Eleven now up SPOILER ALERT! This is our take on the spoilers for the S10 premiere, What Now? Carby! Please R&R By Jo & Lise
1. Part One

This is our take on the spoilers for What Now?, the S10 premiere. We hope everyone's in character, and you enjoy it. Please let us know what you think!   
Jo & Lise xx 

**Part One**

Abby yawned, not wanting to open her eyes to the harsh morning light. Putting an arm over her face she lifted her head off the pillow and opened her eyes. She slowly allowed her eyes to become accustomed to the sun, and looked around the room. There was something about it that wasn't quite right. Something different. It wasn't a bad thing necessarily...just different. She furrowed her brow, considering this for a minute. It was a smell. She could smell something different. She sniffed the air gently, attempting not to look too stupid. Carter! That was it, she could smell Carter. She shook her head, laughing at herself, and pulled herself out of bed. It was just a memory of a few weeks ago - there was probably one of his t-shirts under the bed or something. 

She looked at herself in the mirror, running a hand through her hair. She looked awful, like she'd fall asleep again right there. Coffee would fix that she mused, wandering out towards the kitchen. 

"Morning." She almost jumped in the air, shocked to hear a voice. She looked towards the kitchen, where he stood by the toaster. "You want some coffee and toast?" She didn't know what to say, just stood there staring at him. Carter? Why was he here? "Abby?" 

"Erm..." she hesitated slightly, unsure what to say. For a moment she felt an overwhelming relief that he'd got home okay. But why was he here? 

"Coffee? Do you want some?" She began to nod her head, and then stopped. He shouldn't be here offering her coffee, he should be in Africa. Or at least if he was back in Chicago she didn't expect him to be standing in the middle of her apartment, dressed in a t-shirt she'd been using as a nightie for the last few months. 

"What are you doing here?" She didn't move from her spot in the middle of the lounge. She couldn't have moved, even if she wanted to. 

"I came back to Chicago, to see you..." 

"Why are you in my apartment?" she interrupted him. 

"I wanted to see you. I've missed you Abby." He was looking uncomfortable now. Good, she thought. He should be uncomfortable. 

"Oh, you've missed me?" she managed to make her feet move now, and walked over to stand near him. "You all but dumped me before you ran off to Africa, and now you're saying you missed me?" She couldn't help but be mad at him. 

"I didn't dump you, I..." 

"I know you didn't dump me!" she interrupted, pretty much shouting now. "But you were pretty close. How do you think I felt? And now you just turn up in my apartment!" 

"Abby, I wanted to see you," he said, and she could see his eyes looked slightly watery with tears. "I needed to make sure you were okay, that you were still here." 

"So you broke into my apartment," she seethed. He looked down at the floor, unable to make eye contact with her. 

"I used my key Abby, I didn't break in." He looked up again, but now she turned away to avoid the eye contact. "I didn't know you'd be mad. I just had to see you." They stood in silence, both refusing to look at each other. Abby stared at the floor, thinking through everything. She tried to tell herself to stay calm, but she couldn't stay calm. He'd put her in a situation she didn't want to have to deal with. Her practically ex-boyfriend had let himself into her apartment, and started helping himself to coffee. Goodness knows what else had happened. 

She stopped herself at that thought. She may be mad at him, but she knew Carter would never do anything like that. He loved her too much. She sighed - what an awkward mess. "Err…could I have my keys back please?" she asked, trying not to sound too angry anymore. 

"I beg your pardon?" 

"I'd like my keys back please. I don't want you just letting yourself in." Now she looked up at him, and for a brief second they made eye contact. She could see the pain in his eyes, and quickly looked away. "Please, John, just give them to me. And then leave, please?" 

"Yeah, sure." She felt him brush past her, towards the other side of the lounge. When he returned, he placed a set of keys gently on the kitchen table. Why was he being so calm, she wondered. She didn't like him being angry at her, but at least then she knew how he felt. Right now he had a mask on that prevented her from seeing anything. 

"I'm sorry," she whispered, reaching out for his hand. He stepped away, bending down to pick up the travelling bag that was standing next to him on the floor. 

"Yeah, well...I guess I'll see you around." And with that he turned and walked out the door. She stared after him, tears coming to her eyes. She could read the emotion now. He was angry, and hurt. Picking up the keys she sat down at the table. She stared at them, twisting them round in her hand. This was it: she'd finally blown it. 

*** 

More soon, if we get lots of nice reviews. :) 


	2. Part Two

_Author's Note: Thanks for all the great reviews. :) Glad you think we're doing a realistic job. To answer a few questions: yes, this is based on real spoilers. Unfortunately. :( We have taken some things in our own special way...there are definitely a few things coming up that aren't in spoilers, we just decided we wanted. ;) We get spoilers from Carter-Abby-LukaFans (). Fabby group - have to be a Carter/Abby/Luka fan though. ;) Otherwise just find a random ER message board and they're sure to have spoilers!   
Please keep reviewing, and we'll keep writing! :)_

**Part Two**

"So, Carter's back," Susan said, leaning on the admit desk next to Abby. 

"Yup." She grabbed a chart, and started studying it. "Arm lac?" 

"You're avoiding the topic of conversation?" Abby shrugged. "Abby!" After no response, Susan shook her head and took the chart. "Arm lac, and then we need a serious chat." 

***   
"What's up man?" Pratt followed Carter out of the Trauma room and down the corridor. "That wasn't like you in there." 

"I've seen things you'll never see, Pratt. It changes perspectives." He pulled his gloves off, throwing them into a bin on his way past. 

"I say there's something else. You want to talk?" Carter let out a small laugh. "Really man." He stopped at admit and looked at his boss, who had also stopped and looked rather uncertain. "Coffee?" 

***   
Abby and Susan sat on a bench outside the remains of Doc Magoo's, each cradling a polystyrene mug of coffee in their hands. "So, you gonna tell me what happened?" 

"There's not much to tell," Abby shrugged. "He came to my apartment." 

"That's sweet." Once again Abby shrugged. 

"He let himself in. He was making breakfast this morning when I woke up." 

She paused for second and sipped the scolding coffee, grateful of the moment of silence it gave her.   
"I didn't know what to do Susan! It's the first time I've been unsure about how to react, how to be with him. He flies away to Africa playing "Dr. Hero" leaving our relationship hanging on memories... now he comes back, welcomes himself into my apartment and expects to pick up from a few months ago..." 

"Hey!" Susan hugged her reassuringly. "Abby it's obvious! He came back because he missed you, Africa gave him time he needed after his Gamma died... why else would he go straight to your apartment?!" 

"I bet he only came to mine 'cause he was horny!" 

Susan snorted into her coffee, looked up, and realised by Abby's expression she wasn't joking. 

***   
Pratt lay splayed out on the lounge couch, his head dangling off the arm, while Carter made coffee. 

"I rocked that trauma! I am the daddy!" 

Carter raised an eyebrow: maybe confiding in Pratt wouldn't be such a great idea. He fiddled with the blinds and spotted Abby & Susan sat on a bench next to Doc Magoos. What the hell! If she could go bitching to Susan, he could certainly bitch back to Pratt! 

"How are you and Deb... I mean Jing-Mei?" 

"We're cool! It's all good... I take it your moods more to do with Abby rather than being back in Chicago?" 

"Both! How do you know?" 

Pratt sat upright, looking serious "Man, that look you've got on your face says "Chick trouble" all over it..." 

"Its not exactly that bad... it's just" He sipped his coffee for a moment, and tried to think how he could explain. "Well it is that bad.. I turned up at her apartment, and she threw me out, demanded her key back, all but broke up with me" 

"Hey brother! She probably thought you were out there having a good time without her, ya know! Not giving her a second thought..." 

"That's not true!" he demanded 

"Don't tell me that, tell her! If you've not spoken to her, how does she know you weren't playing doctors and nurses in Africa?!" he winked, and continued, looking pensive for a moment. "Were there any hot nurses?!" 

Carter laughed, in spite of the situation...   
"There was me thinking you were all mature & grown up! There was one nurse... but the thought of Abby kept me away ya know?! That and Luka..." 

They grinned and headed back out into the ER 

***   
"He wasn't horny!" Susan exclaimed, shocked that Abby was serious. 

"He came into my bedroom." 

"Yeah, to see you. Not for sex!" If the situation weren't so awful for her two best friends she'd probably laugh at the absurdity of it. 

"You don't know that. And I don't know what happened when he came in...I wasn't awake." 

"Abby, what are you implying?" Abby shrugged. "I cannot believe you'd ever say that. Or think it. Don't you know how much he loves you?" She sighed and looked down into her coffee. "I'm actually quite disgusted that you could say that." 

"Great," Abby muttered, getting up from the bench and throwing her cup into a bin. "And I thought you were on my side here." 

"I'm not taking sides. But yeah, I'm here for you to talk to. We're friends! But when you say something like that...I just find it hard to be sympathetic." 

Abby fiddled with her nails, and turned back round to look at Susan. "I'm sorry." A small tear fell down her cheek. "I shouldn't have said that, it was stupid. I know he wouldn't. It was a really stupid thing to say." A few more tears began to fall. "I'm such a stupid bitch, no wonder he hates me." 

"Hey!" Susan got up and pulled her friend into a hug. "He doesn't hate you. Never has, doesn't now, and never will. That man is madly in love with you." Abby couldn't help put smile slightly at Susan's words. Yeah, they were true, she guessed. 

"I know." She laughed and cried into her friend's shoulder at the same time. "So why do I always screw up?" 

*** 

  
Please review?! :-D You know you want to. ;) 


	3. Part Three

Thanks for all the great reviews! :) Sorry the update has been a while in coming, but we promise it won't be so long next time. Just as long as you review!!!! :-D We've included the name of a game show host over here in the UK in this fic: her name's Cilla Black, and she hosts a show called Blind Date. We didn't know an American version, so we just used that. Sorry! :) As always please let us know what you think! Jo & Lise xx 

  
**Part Three**

"Gallant! Why is Mrs Walker still here?!" 

"Waiting on some labs Dr. Carter..." 

"Gallant, now you're a resident you can call me Carter!" 

"Is that meant to be a privilege Carter?!" Susan laughed, rubbing a patient off the board. 

"Hey Susan, is Mr. Palowski meant to be claiming he's sharing a cubicle with the devil?!" 

"Anything's possible in this place..." she sighed and grabbed the chart, conveniently leaving Carter standing next to Abby... 

She stood writing for a second, and glanced up and him, then at Susan who no longer seemed to care that Mr. Palowski was squealing for mercy to an IV stand. She motioned for Abby to say something, but in return she got a withering look. The tension was evident to everyone around, it was as though the temperature dropped to Arctic temperatures. 

"Hey," he said tentatively, grinning slightly. 

"Hey," she returned. 

They carried on charting for a few moments, taking sly glances at each other, finally neither one looked away fast enough and they gained sufficient eye contact... 

"Wanna get some coffee later?" he prompted, making the first move 

"Sure, in about 10 minutes?" 

He nodded and stepped away backwards, maintaining the eye contact, finally turning away to knock the chart out of Susan's hands. 

Abby snorted, Carter walked off embarrassed, and Susan grinned... "Just call me Cilla Black!" 

Abby wrinkled her nose, and shrugged... it was only coffee. 

*** 

Susan flopped down on the couch, pushing her hair out of her face. She was exhausted already, and her shift had only started two hours ago. 

"Tired?" Deb asked from her place by the coffee maker. 

"Yeah. Being a match maker's a tiring business," she replied, and they both laughed. 

"Who have you been match making then? Anything exciting going on that I should know about?" 

"I've been trying to sort our resident love birds out...things aren't great." She sighed. "They're so in love it makes me sick, and so stupid it makes me mad." 

"That bad?" Susan nodded. "What happened, was it Africa?" 

"I dunno...I feel bad revealing what Abby said to me to someone else. Private conversation, you know?" 

"Yeah, sorry." Deb nodded, and held up a coffee cup. "Want one?" 

"Nah, trying to cut back on my caffeine. Already had five cups this morning." They both laughed whilst Deb poured herself a coffee. "Abby made him give her keys back." 

"What? I didn't realise it was that..." 

"Susan?" Chuny asked as she came through the door, interrupting. "You seen Carter?" She looked at her watch. He should be about to go meet Abby for coffee. She wasn't gonna let him get caught by work now. 

"Nope, sorry. Why?" 

"I need him - for Mr. Palowski." 

"Mr. Palowski's my patient," Susan replied, getting up. "What's wrong?" 

"He just crashed...started yelling something about a demon reaching into his chest and grabbing his heart, and then collapsed onto the floor." 

"Oh no..." 

*** 

As Deb and Susan ran towards Mr. Palowski, Abby entered the lounge to find a distinct lack of Carter. 

She pulled open her locker, with more force than she intended, sending the pictures decorating the inside of the door to the floor. 

One was of Susan (with cocktail umbrellas in her hair), Deb and herself on a night out last year... they hadn't done that in a long while. 

"You dropped this." He held out the other photo. 

"Carter! You made me jump!" she shouted, once again with more force than she intended. 

"Sorry... It's a great picture though." he looked reminiscent: it was a good shot of them. It had been taken at Christmas, round at Susan's... they were curled up together on a bean bag, pulling "whatever" faces at each other. 

They stood in silence for a second, neither one knowing exactly how to break the ice. 

"Look Abby, I'm just gonna say this... I know I messed up, I know I shouldn't have gone like I did, but at the time, everything seemed to be so complicated... I didn't know where to turn next!" 

She snorted, interrupting his speech, "You could've tried turning to me John." 

"I know, I know. While I was in Africa, it gave me chance to think. I missed you Abby! I know you don't believe me, but it made me realise how much you mean to me, you keep me grounded, you stop me doing stupid things I'd usually do, usually say...   
"I don't want us to end like this..." he whispered. 

She accepted the coffee he offered and placed it on the floor, walking across to him she wrapped her arms around him, both relishing the moment. 

It was soon shattered. 

"Carter? Phone call, line 2. Someone called Gillian?" Chuny called through the door. 

"Who's Gillian?!" He cringed inwardly at the harsh tone of her voice. 

*** 

_More soon! Please review. Thanks! :)_


	4. Part Four

_Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews! Please keep reviewing, we really appreciate it. Hope you enjoy this chapter! :)   
Jo & Lise xx_

**Part Four**

"How did it go?" Once again Susan approached Abby at admit. 

"How did what go?" 

"Coffee! What else?!" Abby shrugged. 

"I called psych for Mr. Palowski, now that he's conscious again. They're sending someone down asap." 

"Abby..." 

"And labs are back on Rebecca Diamon in 4," she continued, avoiding the conversation. "Also, Mrs. Cramtint thinks she's got a yeast infection. You should probably take a look. Although I can get Pratt to if you'd rather..." 

"Abby!" 

"What?" she replied, irritated. She didn't want to talk about this right now. 

"How did coffee with Carter go?" 

"It didn't go. Okay?" She grabbed a chart. "You wanna take a look at Rebecca's labs now?" 

"What happened?" 

"Her white count's sky high, and..." 

"Not with the patient! With you and Carter." 

"There was a woman in Africa." She sighed, feeling tears prick at her eyes. She wasn't going to cry over this - he didn't deserve it. 

"Seriously?" Susan was shocked. She'd thought Carter would stay loyal to Abby forever. "He told you that?" 

"No. But Chuny came in, and said there was a phone call for him from someone called Gillian." 

"I'm sure there are loads of women in Africa!" 

"Oh, that's a real comfort. Thanks a lot Susan." She smiled sarcastically. 

"What I meant was she's probably just a friend. And who says she was from Africa? Could be anyone!" 

"You should have seen the look on his face when Chuny said it though." She sighed, looking back to the chart. 

"Dr. Lewis, you called for a psych consult?" She looked up at the man who'd just approached them. 

"Oh yeah, hi Bob." She smiled at him. "That was for Mr. Palowski. Thinks he's in a room inhabited by the devil, and that demons reached into his heart." 

"Interesting..." 

"Yeah. Just watch out for the flames of fire that engulf the room." She winked at him. "I'll show you where he is." Walking round to the other side of the admit desk to join him, she turned to Abby. "Talk to him. I think you've probably got the wrong end of the stick." Abby shrugged, not looking up from the chart. "Right, this way Bob..." 

Abby waited a few moments until she was sure Susan had left before looking up. Susan was a great friend, but she was sick of everyone trying to sort her problems out. If Carter had cheated on her she could never forgive him for that. Looking around she saw Carter exiting the lounge, with a strange expression on his face that she couldn't quite read. Was he upset about something? Maybe this Gillian had ended it. She smiled to herself slightly. Served him right anyway. 

"Abby." Whilst thinking she hadn't noticed that he'd approached her position at admit. 

"Erm, I have to go get some lidocaine for a patient, sorry." She turned to leave, but he caught her arm. 

"Abby we have to talk." 

"I don't want to talk about this Gillian." She shrugged his hand off. "Go live with her in Africa for all I care!" 

"It's not about Gillian," he said, trying to get through to her. She wasn't letting him in though, she'd put a barrier up. 

"Look I don't want to talk about us either. I think you ruined that conversation with this Gillian person." 

"Abby, shut up and listen to me!" he shouted, causing Frank to look up from his place in front of the computer. 

"Everything okay?" 

"Shut up Frank," he seethed. Frank shrugged, took a bite of his doughnut, and turned back to the computer. Abby was still stood in shock, staring at him. "Abby, it's about Luka." 

*** 

"Luka? What's Luka got to do with you and this Gillian...or is it a convenient change of subject?!" 

He slammed through the lounge door after her. 

"Go on then, what about Luka?" she demanded, hands on hips. 

"Gillian is...well _was_ Luka's girlfriend." 

"Just what are you saying Carter?!" 

"Luka's dead Abby. He stayed at the clinic we were working at, determined not to leave his patients. He died giving care to those who really need it. So sorry if that's ruined your bad expectations of me." His glare cut through her, then with a look of disgust he turned and walked away. 

"Carter...!" 

He'd reached the door now. 

"John?" 

He stopped, turned and faced her. 

*** 

"So you can admit him?" Susan asked Bob as they walked away from Mr. Palowski's room. 

"Yeah, he's obviously delusional, and possibly a danger to himself. I just have to find him a bed." 

"Great, thanks." She smiled at him as he walked off to make his way back to psych. As she passed the lounge, she glanced in to see Carter and Abby standing there. Carter had his back to the door, and Abby had a shocked look on her face, almost distraught. At least they'd talked - she just hoped that Abby's suspicions had been wrong. 

*** 

"He's dead?" she whispered, shocked. Even if she wasn't best of friends with Luka he was still someone she cared about, and a good man. 

"Yeah. The Mai Mai, they..." He stopped, and walked over to the sofa, where she joined him. "They raided the clinic, killing everyone. Gillian could hardly tell me what had happened, she was so upset. She's going over to the clinic on Saturday to...to get his body." He looked down at the floor sadly. He'd got to know Luka a lot better in Africa, and he'd found he quite liked him. 

"My goodness." Instinctively she reached out her hand and took his firmly in it. "I never thought that something might happen to him." 

"I know, I know." 

"The whole time I was worrying about you, and if you'd come back to me safely, and it never occurred to me that anything could happen to Luka." 

"You were worried about me?" Tears had started to well up in her eyes: she wasn't usually one to cry much, but today had turned into quite an emotional day. 

"Yeah. I didn't know what I'd do if anything happened to you." She wiped furiously at the tears. "I can't believe he's actually gone." 

"Hey, come here." He let go off her hand, and pulled her into a hug. "I'm here now." She nodded into his shoulder, holding him tightly. "And Luka died around friends, doing something he cared about." 

"John," she said, lifting her head off his shoulder to look at him. "Promise me you'll never leave me again." He nodded, and she sunk back into the hug again. 

"Ssh, it'll be okay." He kissed the top of her head gently, knowing his promise wasn't quite true. Perhaps now wasn't the best time to tell her his plans for Saturday. 

*** 

_Please review! Part 5 soon!_


	5. Part Five

_This is a big part! In terms of what happens...it's pretty important. ;) So please let us know what you think, and whether we're doing a good job! Thanks for all your reviews, they really do mean a lot to us.   
Jo & Lise_

Part Five

The air was thick and moist, dirt seemed to be a permanent feature on his face, he was collapsed onto his knees, ID tag hanging clearly out, to identify him as Dr. John Carter. 

The government solider lay face upwards, watching the Mai-Mai boy draw a gun out from beneath his rags that posed as clothes. He didn't turn away fast enough, so he ended up watching as a bullet ripped through the young soldier's uniform, a dull red patch leaking on the olive green material. Then the gun sounded again, this time shooting him through the forehead. 

*** 

He sat bolt upright in the sweat soaked sheets, gasping for breath, unable to get the soldier's panic-stricken face out of his mind. 

The fact that the large house was completely empty and cold niggled in his mind, he felt so alone, so empty.   
He reached out for his phone, and switched it on, the green glow illuminating the dusk-lit room. It beeped indicating an answer-phone message, making him jump slightly. 

"Hey Carter, its me. I'm off in about an hour if you fancy getting something to eat? Anyway...call me." 

He put the phone down on the side, and lay back down. A small blue box caught the corner of his eye, and he was dressed in a matter of seconds. 

*** 

Abby hurried out of the ER, looking around for Carter. There he was, sat on a bench on the other side of the ambulance bay. 

"Hey!" she said, approaching him. 

"Hey," he replied, getting up, and pulling her towards him for a gentle kiss. 

"You could have come waited inside!" she said, pulling away and taking his hand. They began to walk off towards the El station. 

"And get sucked into the ER jungle? No thanks!" They laughed together as they climbed the steps. This was how it should be, Abby thought. Them happy and laughing together. For that moment she could see past her doubts, to a future with him. She smiled to herself slightly. "What?" he asked, noticing her smile. 

"Nothing. I was just thinking about us." He grinned back at her. "So, where are we going?" 

"I know a little place." 

*** 

"So, earlier, when you were thinking about us? What were you thinking about us?" 

"Well..." She smiled shyly. "I was thinking that I could see us together for a long time. I don't know, I feel a lot happier about things all of a sudden." 

He studied her face intently, trying to decide whether it was the right time now or not. She seemed happier, ready for it. And she was talking about the future. He reached into his pocket, closing his hand around the small box. This time he wasn't going to make any mistakes about talking about people changing and things. He wasn't going to give himself second thoughts. This was it. 

"That long time together...would that include this?" he slid the box onto the table, and smiled warily at her. He didn't know if his heart could take another rejection. She took it from him, and opened it carefully. The neutral expression on her face prevented him from reading her reaction. Was it good? 

"Do you think?" He nodded. "Yeah, I think that'd be good." She smiled at him broadly, and he let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. It wasn't a classic romantic proposal, but it was them. And he'd already learnt that romantic proposals weren't any good if it was the wrong time. Abby took the ring out of the box, and gave it to him, before holding out her left hand. He smiled at her, sliding the ring onto her ring finger. 

She lifted her hand up, stared at the ring, and smiled. "Oh my goodness...I have to tell Susan!" They both laughed, grins across both of their faces. He lifted his glass of orange juice. 

"To the future Mrs. Carter." He said, grinning. He couldn't believe he'd just said that...he couldn't believe that she was actually going to be Mrs. Carter. 

"To us." She lifted her own glass. "I'm sorry I was such a fool." He placed his free hand over hers reassuringly. "And to Luka." Their smiles weakened as they remembered the sadder events of the day. Abby put her glass down, still holding onto Carter's hand. "Well that ruined the moment," she mused sadly. 

"Hey, it's okay." 

"I can't imagine his body out there...it doesn't seem right to leave your friend like that." 

"Yeah, we need to talk about that Abby..." 

"Don't sweat it Carter, I know." 

"Know what? How?" 

"I think I know you well enough to say you wouldn't leave him out there." 

"And you're ok with that?!" His face was a picture of surprise. 

"Of course I am. I'm coming with you." 

He muttered something sounding like "hmph", she couldn't decipher whether it was sarcastic or protesting. 

"Abby, I'm not taking you out there" 

"Why?! Got something to hide?" she knew it was petty, but she couldn't figure why she couldn't go - if he could, why should he stop her? 

"I'm not even going to bother to comment on that." 

"Yeah...well...why Carter? Surely they need as much help as they can get for a couple of days?!" 

"That's not the point! It's war-torn, its dangerous, I don't want to put you at that risk!" 

"But you'll put yourself at that risk?!" 

"I've got to Abby." 

She sighed unhappily, and pulled her hand away from his.   
"Ok. Go." she whispered. 

*** 

"Oh my goodness, Abby!!!" Susan squealed, grabbing her best friend's hand. "Why didn't you tell me!" 

"What?" Abby didn't look up from her chart. 

"You and Carter!" 

"Oh." Abby finally looked up to see her friend's excited face. "I guess I didn't get round to it." 

"When?" Susan's eyes were lit up with excitement: she could hardly believe this was finally happening! 

"Last night." She turned back to her chart. "It was very unromantic Susan, there's really nothing to tell." Susan stared at her, confused. 

"Is something wrong?" 

"Nope." 

"Then why are you acting so..." 

"Abby, can you start an IV for Mrs. Romantes in four?" Carter interrupted them. 

"Yes thank you," she answered, not looking up. 

"Would you, please?" She nodded. Susan stared at them. What was going on? 

"Oh, congratulations Carter," she said, interrupting the awkward silence. 

"Yeah, thanks." He turned back to Abby as he began to walk away. "Could you get that IV started soon, please?" 

"What is up with you two?" Abby shrugged. "No, come on Abby! You two just got engaged, but you're acting like you split up! Don't you want to marry him?" 

"Of course I want to marry him, I wouldn't have said yes otherwise." 

"Then why are you acting like you hate him?" 

"I'm not acting like I hate him, I'm just proving a point." 

"Which is?" Susan flung a hand as if to say 'come on, you're annoying me now'. Abby shrugged. "Has he pissed you off about something?" 

"You could say that," she muttered. 

"Abby come ON, give me a hand here. I'm not psychic you know." 

"Okay," she looked up at her friend, shaking her hair out of her face. "Last night he took me out for a meal, he asked if I'd marry him, making me the happiest woman alive. Then, after I'd agreed to marry the fool he announced he was going back to Africa. And yeah he has to go, but he won't let me go, and he let me think when I said yes that he wasn't going to leave me ever again." She stopped and sighed. "And that is why I am pissed off, because the man I love is going to go get himself killed and he won't take me too. Happy now?" She turned and walked off to start the IV, leaving Susan staring after her in shock. 

*** 

"What are we waiting for?" Susan approached Carter in the ambulance bay. 

"Multiple MVA, didn't get much detail..." 

"Thank god! Normal patients! I must have some sort of freak attraction!" 

"Why, who you got now?!" Carter replied laughing. 

"Oh, it's one of my best! Transvestite dad, got home to find his 19 year old son's girlfriend dressed up in his clothes...got a bit messy, few broken bones... you know, the usual!" 

"Ha! I'm glad I didn't get that..." 

"So...Abby says you're going back to Africa?" she asked tentatively. 

"Yeah. She's pissed at me 'cause I don't want her to come." 

"Well she thinks you're off to get yourself killed...talk to her, make her understand. You can't leave like this Carter!" 

"Its like a constant circle, we talk, we argue, we make up...it never seems to go smoothly for any amount of time." 

"What relationship does?!" 

They stood in silence for a few moments, eventually the sirens became audible... 

*** 

"Hey you," Carter smiled widely at Abby as he approached her at admit, trying to give the illusion that everything was fine. Maybe it would reassure her. 

"Stop grinning like a Cheshire cat, Carter." Or not. "I'm not marrying you if you get killed." 

"You guys got engaged?!" Jerry exclaimed as Abby turned angrily away and stood staring at the board. 

"Yes," Carter answered firmly, not bothering to look at the clerk. "Abby, can you just cut this out, please? Everyone's going to think something's wrong." 

"Something is wrong," she muttered, still staring intently at the board. 

"Oh dear, doesn't sound like it's going to be marital bliss?" Jerry muttered. 

"Shut up Jerry!" they yelled in unison, both turning to glare at him. 

"Right, yeah...I have work to do." He quickly turned back to the computer. 

"Shall I just call the wedding off, Abby? Because right now it doesn't seem like this is such a good idea." 

"Yeah, go ahead. There's not going to be a wedding anyway, when you're dead." She pulled the ring off her finger, and held it tightly in her hand, before making her way determinedly to the lounge. 

"What are you doing?" he followed her, panicking: he hadn't actually meant it like that. She shrugged. "Abby, I'm not going to get killed." 

"I'm sure that's what Luka said, and look what's happened now. He's dead Carter." Tears began to form in her eyes, and she flung the ring back into his hand. "I said yes because you were never going to leave me again. That's not so true anymore." 

"This really bothers you, doesn't it?" 

"What do you think?" she mumbled, trying not to cry. Abby Lockhart did not cry. Especially not at work. 

"Oh Abby." He reached out and pulled her into his arms, which she willingly fell into. "It'll be okay, you'll see," he said, stroking her hair gently. "You won't even know I was gone." They stayed in a silent hug for a while longer, before Abby pulled a way. 

"Thanks." He smiled at her. "This doesn't mean I'm any less annoyed with you though." 

"Okay." He twisted the ring around in his hand, holding it up in front of her. "What about this?" 

"I already said yes," she smiled. "But there's a condition. Either you take me with you..." 

"No Abby, we've already been through this!" 

"Either you take me with you, or you have to keep that until you get back alive." He stared at her, unsure how to react. 

"Abby, do you..." 

"Fine, have your way. Keep it forever." She turned angrily and stormed out the door. 

"Way to go Carter," he mumbled to himself, staring at the ring. "Way to go." 

*** 

"Hey Abby! Fancy coming out for a 'get together' later?" Deb asked her, as she clocked out. 

"Sure! Who's going?" She needed to relax for a while; maybe a night out would do her good. 

"You, me and Susan...maybe Chuny! If you're up for it, we're meeting here at 7?" 

"Didn't we used to reek havoc on a Friday night?" 

"That was until we realised it was buy one drink get two free on a Thursday!" Deb grinned, and wandered towards admit. 

She knew he finished at 7, she also knew that it was immature to play these games...but when 7 o' clock arrived she'd be looking her best to show him exactly what he'd be missing. She just hoped no one told him it was buy one drink and get two free... he'd go to Africa regardless then... 

*** 

_Please review!_


	6. Part Six

_Author's Note: Another big long chapter here! :) Thanks for all the great reviews so far, like we keep saying we really appreciate them! Keep on writing them and the fic will keep coming! :) Hope you enjoy this chapter.   
Jo & Lise xx_ **Part Six**

"What can I get you ladies?" the bartender asked as the group of three approached the bar. 

"I'll have a..." Susan stared at the list on the wall. "Sex on the Beach. Deb?" 

"Sex on the Beach? What's in that?" 

"I dunno," Susan shrugged. "But it sounds intriguing." 

"Okay, I'll have one of them too." 

"I'll just have a diet coke, please," Abby said. 

"Oh come on Abby!" Deb exclaimed. "Don't be so boring!" Abby looked nervously at Susan. 

"Hey, we might need someone to make sure we get home okay," Susan laughed, picking up the cocktail that had been put down in front of her, and walking towards a table in the corner. Deb and Abby grabbed their drinks, following her. 

"Who says I want to get home okay?" Deb winked. She looked up at Susan, who was staring at her drink. "What's wrong?" 

"It's pink." 

"We've had pink drinks before." "Yeah...but I normally start off with something a little more normal in colour...I usually don't know I'm drinking something pink by the time I'm drinking something pink." 

"True." They all laughed, as they sipped at their drinks. "So Abby," Deb continued. "What was that with Carter outside the hospital just before we left?" 

"What do you mean?" 

"Well, you both looked a little down...and did you see the way he was staring at your ass?" 

"That was intentional," she stared down into her glass. "I didn't wear these pants for the fun of it you know, I was making sure he knew what he was missing out on by being such an idiot." 

"Right." Deb turned her attention back to 'sex on the beach' obviously realising she wouldn't get much more from Abby tonight. 

"I'm going to the bathroom, be back in a minute." Abby got up from her seat, fleeing what she felt could become an awkward situation. 

"What is up with her today?" she heard Deb asked as she walked away. 

"You mean you didn't hear? Do you even work in the same ER as us Deb?" Abby had no doubt Susan would fill Deb in on all the details. At least it saved her the bother. 

*** 

"Okay, next round's on me," Abby said, surveying the collection of cocktail glasses and diet coke bottles. They'd only had two rounds, but it looked more like ten by the collection they'd gathered up. "What do you want?" 

"Erm...what was that purple thing I just had?" Abby and Susan both shrugged. "Well, one of them." 

"I think sex on the beach will do me good," Susan winked. Abby headed over to the bar. 

"Same again?" the bartender asked. 

"No...Can I have another one of those purple things, and two sex on the beach please." Her hands shook as she took the tray he'd passed her and walked back to the table. She knew she shouldn't, but just this one wouldn't hurt. 

"Thanks Ab..." Susan trailed off when she saw the drinks on the tray. "I only asked for one sex on the beach." 

"Yeah I know." She looked down at her hand: the one that a few hours before had held an engagement ring. Sighing, she handed Susan and Deb their drinks. 

"Being a little more adventurous now then?" Deb winked, but Abby was conscious of Susan's stare. She raised the glass to her mouth, her hands still shaking. 

"Abby..." She stopped with the glass against her lips, still not taking a sip. Susan picked up her own glass, and pointed to it. "See this?" She held it out over the plant pot next to them, and upturned it, before placing the empty glass back on the table. Abby continued to stare at her friend. "I'm sorry Abby, it was really inconsiderate of us to bring you out and start drinking. I'm on coke for the rest of the evening." Her friend's eyes continued to bore into her. "Please." 

Taking a deep breath Abby moved the glass away from her lips and followed Susan's example. "I need to go home. I'll get a cab, see you guys tomorrow." She smiled warmly at Susan, silently thanking her. As she walked off she could hear Deb quizzing Susan again. 

"What's going on Susan? Is she pregnant or something?" 

*** 

She wandered out towards the doors, but was suddenly restricted, by a large, leering man who seemed to fancy his chances. He had long greasy black hair, tied into a straggly ponytail, an ill fitting t-shirt clung round his large stomach, and his breath smelt foul of alcohol and cigarettes. 

She frantically searched for a familiar face, but the table they had occupied was out of sight. He was getting closer now, egged on by his drunken mates in the corner. 

"Hey Brother, I'd let that lady go if I were you," a familiar voice demanded. 

"Yeah, and you are?" 

"Why do you fancy your chances?!" Abby saw Pratt's figure, in an almost heroic silhouette. 

The man realising he was beaten, gave up fairly easily, and moved onto his next victim. 

"Pr- I mean Greg! I've never been more happy to see you!" she sighed with relief. 

"See, I'm not just an annoying resident..." 

"I'll never look at you in the same light again!" she joked, still feeling a little shaken. 

"Want me to wait with you for a cab?" 

"That'd be great...aren't you meeting someone though? I don't want to ruin your night too!" 

"Its cool...I'm meeting Jing-Mei & Susan, I'm taking that's who you've been out with?" 

"Mmmm. Long story!" Abby climbed into a cab, and kissed him gently on cheek. 

He grinned to himself, and headed back inside. 

*** 

Abby lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. It occurred to her, as it often did, that she had one seriously mucked up life. She wondered why nothing ever seemed to go right: maybe because she always mucked things up. It was true though. She had an amazing boyfriend, great friends like Susan and Deb, and a job she loved. So maybe she just wasn't allowed that much happiness. So the amazing boyfriend had to run off the Africa trying to get himself killed. She'd called off her engagement to that amazing boyfriend, and walked out on those great friends. It was beginning to look to her like staying and drinking all night would have been a better option. She needed to drown her sorrows right about now. 

"I wanna have sex on the beach, come on move your body, sex on the beach..." she sang to herself, smiling sadly. What was in that thing anyway? She laughed remembering the look on Susan's face when she'd been staring at the bright pink drink. "I wanna have sex on the beach, come on everybody, sex on the..." 

Her singing was interrupted by the ringing of the phone. She grabbed the hand held from her bedside table. "Hello?" 

"Hi Abby, it's Susan." She glanced at the clock: it was only midnight, what was Susan doing phoning her? She'd expect her to still be at the club. 

"Hi." She paused, before deciding she really ought to apologise. "I'm sorry about earlier...I just felt like I needed to get out of there, before...well, you know. But I shouldn't have just abandoned you guys like that." 

"Don't sweat it. I should be the one apologising; I shouldn't have taken you there, I just didn't think." Abby shrugged, before realising that Susan couldn't see that down the phone. 

"It's okay. So what are you doing home so early? And you don't sound very drunk..." Susan laughed gently down the phone. 

"Well, after you disappeared Pratt turned up to collect Deb." She laughed once again, and Abby joined her, smiling. She decided it was probably best not to mention how Pratt had been her hero earlier. "So they went off, and after several not very pleasant guys had tried to chat me up I decided it was time to head off." 

"Yeah, 'Can I buy you a drink' isn't a very effective chat up line on buy one get two free night!" 

"Exactly. So I only had those two sex on the beach. And if I'd had another drink I really would have had to have three, since you two weren't there to have the two free ones!" There was a silence for a while, before Susan spoke up again. "So, almost drinking tonight...was that about Carter?" 

"No," Abby answered, perhaps a little too forcefully. 

"You sure?" 

"I don't really know. I've just had like the worst day in the history of bad days." 

"You gonna talk to him then?" Susan enquired. 

"He's catching a plane at five in the morning." 

"But I thought they weren't going to..." her voice caught in her throat. "I thought they weren't going to the clinic until Saturday." 

"Long way to Africa." 

"Yeah, of course..." she trailed off. "Abby?" 

"Hmm?" 

"Go see him off at the airport." 

"No Susan, I can't! Really, it would be so inappropriate, after everything I've said and done..." 

"Think about it?" Abby didn't respond. "Please?" 

"Sure. I'm going to sleep now, goodnight Susan." She hung the phone up on her best friend, feeling slightly guilty, but at the same time relieved that she didn't have to continue the conversation. Was it really only five hours until he left the country? This could be the last chance she ever got to see him... 

*** 

No matter how much she tried to curl up underneath her blankets, she still lay gazing wide eyed at the ceiling. The more she lay there, the more she began to think about going to sleep, the further away it became. She tiredly dragged herself out of bed and into the clothes she had just thrown off. 

*** 

She knew he'd be there, she remembered him saying that it didn't feel right being there, but it didn't feel right for it to be empty either. 

That was why she stumbled up the vast gravel drive at nearly one am. She had no idea whether he would actually be there, or whether there was a point to this trip, but she would never be able to forgive herself if she didn't try. 

How do you wake up a mansion? she pondered... do you just ring the doorbell? 

The door opened in front of her, he stood there in an old t-shirt his hair messed up and bleary eyed. 

"I've watched you stumble all the way up the drive..." he commented amused. 

She smiled back and shrugged, as he gestured for her to go in. 

*** 

"This place looks smaller in the dark...you could hardly call it small though really...!" she whispered, aware she was filling the silence with nonsense. 

"Abby? What are you whispering for?!" 

"It's this place...it makes me feel like I need to be on my best behaviour! It's just a whispering kinda place..." 

He raised an eyebrow at her in reply, and led her into the study. 

"Good night was it?" the whole tone suddenly changed, she knew what he was hinting at. She attempted to make the clothes she had thrown back on look more respectful. 

"Carter, I swear I didn't touch a drop." 

"You don't have to tell me anything." 

"Ask Susan! I don't even know why I came here. It always comes back to this doesn't it? You don't trust me," she accused, storming towards the door. 

He reached for her arm, swinging her back round towards him. 

"I trust you ok! I trust you...it's just that I worry. I worry that you're drinking because you're unhappy, because I've made you unhappy...I don't want to do that Abby," he shot her the look, that always brought her back to him. It was as though they had some 'X' factor, some unknown force keeping them together. 

"We've got about 3 hours until I have to get my plane...want to watch a film or something?" 

"Yeah...but can I get changed first?!" 

"I don't know...that outfit's working for you..." 

"Carter! More like for you." 

She returned a few minutes later, dressed in one of his t-shirts, her hair scraped back into an untidy ponytail. They curled up on the couch together and began to watch a pathetic early morning movie. 

The sleep that had seemed so far away to Abby earlier soon descended on her, as her eyelids began to drop like they had lead weights upon them. 

"Ha! Have you seen..." he began, until her realised she was fast asleep upon him. She looked so perfect, nothing to change, nothing to fix. The woman he loved. 

*** 

_"You know I love you Billy, I always will. But I can't do this anymore. It's just wrong." _

"But Justine..." 

"No buts Billy." 

Carter awoke to the sound of two voices blaring from the TV. He opened his eyes slowly, and stared at the black and white picture on the screen. He looked down, to see Abby who was lying with her head in his lap. She looked so peaceful and happy. He stroked her hair lovingly, wanted to just stay in this moment. 

_"I have to go now Justine. But I'll be back, I promise."_ Carter sighed: he had to go soon too. How soon he wasn't sure, since he wasn't entirely sure on the time. Although this wasn't the film he'd been watching with Abby before they fell asleep...He glanced over at the clock on the wall, and almost yelled out loud when he saw the time. 

Carefully lifting Abby's head from his lap, he stood up. After gently kissing the top of her head he rushed up the stairs and into his bedroom. He pulled on some clean clothes, ran a brush through his hair, and grabbed the bag that he'd packed last night ready for Africa before running back downstairs. 

_"I do love him, but it's wrong. He's married, what if Penny ever found out? I don't know what to do Carrie."_ He laughed briefly at the tackiness of the film, before turning his attention to Abby. She was so beautiful, and sleeping happily. Should he wake her? He wanted to say goodbye, but he didn't want to wake her up. Especially if it ended in another argument about him going alone. 

He grabbed some paper from the coffee table, and scribbled a note, before leaving it there for her. "I'll see you really soon Abby. I love you." He kissed her gently on the top of her head, before smiling sadly and leaving. 

_"I've decided Carrie. I'm going to telephone him. I'll tell him exactly how I feel. And if he feels the same for me, then we're going to be happy forever. This really could be the very best day of my life."_

*** 

Abby woke up the next morning to the breakfast news. She stretched out, wondering why the news was on, and her back felt stiff. It took a moment before she realised that she'd been at Carter's watching a film. She must have fallen asleep. She opened her eyes, and swung her legs over the side of the sofa. If it was the breakfast news then he should already have caught his plane...for a moment she couldn't help the feeling of excitement when she thought he may not have gone. But then she remembered the reason: for Luka. So why hadn't he left? 

It was then that she noticed the note written in his handwriting lying on the coffee table. She picked it up, and quickly read it. 

_Abby,   
I'm sorry I had to go. But I really have to do this. I'm going to get back fine, you'll see. And then everything's going to be great! Sorry I didn't say goodbye, but you looked so peaceful sleeping, I really couldn't bring myself to wake you. I have to run now because I'm going to miss my plane, but I'll ring you when I land, and I'll see you very very soon.   
I love you.   
John. xx_

She stared at the piece of paper. "I love you." He loved her. If she thought about it she'd known that all along. But to know that he really did, that he'd 'said' that, was such an amazing feeling.   
"I love you too," she whispered, grinning to herself. 

*** 

_Review time people! Please? :)_


	7. Part Seven

_Author's Note: The usual, thanks for all the reviews. ;) Err, this part has a bit of a cliffhanger...I'd just like say that bit's all down to Lisey! lolol! Well, please read and review. :)   
Jo & Lise xx_

Part Seven

The dull whirring of the plane was rhythmic and soothing, he felt relaxed... at ease. 

The large man next to him was asleep, snoring loudly and occasionally reaching out in his disturbed dreams. 

He wondered what she'd be doing...had she read his letter? Had she found it? Maybe she was at work or maybe she was asleep...maybe she hadn't found it. What if she thought he'd just left? It was all too many unknowns, too many possibilities whirring around his mind... 

He began to feel less and less relaxed, and he realised all he wanted to do was talk to her, just hear her voice, to let him know she felt the same, although he already knew she did. 

Only 3 hours, 38 minutes and 14 seconds... 

*** 

Abby glanced down at her watch quickly before returning her attention to the chart in front of her. 

"Abby, it's only two seconds later than the last time you looked," Susan said, smiling at her. 

"Yeah," she sighed, staring wistfully ahead. 

"My goodness, you got it bad!" 

"Huh?" 

"The love bug." She took the chart out of Abby's hands. "Come on Little Miss Love, come and help me with..." She paused to glance at the chart. "With Mr. Wright's arm lac." Abby followed her dutifully, glancing at her watch once again as they went. "Oh come on Abby, quit looking at your watch! It's making me jealous that I don't have anyone to look at my watch for." 

"Sorry," Abby mumbled, following Susan through the swing doors. "But his plane should be landing around now, he said he'd ring me." 

"Ah, I see." They approached the gurney in the corner of the room. "Okay Mr. Wright, let's take a look at this cut." Abby stood silently watching as her friend examined the arm. She resisted the temptation to look at her watch once again, knowing Susan would never let her off. "Right, Abby can you get me a..." 

"Abby, you got a phone call! Line Two," Chuny interrupted, looking into the room. Her eyes lit up, and she turned quickly towards the door. 

"Yeah sure, that's fine. You can go, don't mind me," Susan called after her sarcastically, earning herself a half-hearted glare. 

When Abby was safely shut in the lounge, alone, she picked up the phone receiver. This was it, this was him. She grinned to herself as her finger made its way to the button that would put him on. She pressed it firmly, and waited to hear his voice. 

"Hello?" She sighed happily. It was him, his voice on the other end of the line. He was okay, he was really okay. 

"Hey." 

*** 

"Hey...you got there ok then?" 

"Yeah..." Had she found it? Should he come right out and ask...? 

"So..." she prompted. 

"Did you get my note?" 

"Might have..." 

"Abby! I've got like 1 minute left..." 

"Maybe I did... is this the time I should tell you I love you too?" she teased. 

"Maybe..." 

He sighed, wishing he could be there, having her tease him to his face... being able to touch her, hold her... 

"Carrteeeeer? You still there?" 

"I've got to go... I do love you Abby..." 

"I love you too..." 

*** 

"You got there okay then?" she asked, not sure where else to start. 

"Yeah..." he sounded hesitant, like there was something on his mind. 

"So..." she began, trying to find out what he wanted to say. Maybe it was about the letter? 

"Did you get my note?" Yeah, the letter. She smiled to herself, thinking back to the words that had been scrawled across that bit of paper in his messy doctor's handwriting. 

"Might have..." 

"Abby! I've got like 1 minute left..." She sensed the frustration in his voice, but wasn't quite sure how to express herself seriously. 

"Maybe I did... is this the time I should tell you I love you too?" Teasing was how she coped with things, when she wasn't quite comfortable. She was happy to be talking to him, but she wasn't sure how to tell him how she felt. She'd never felt like this about anyone before, never needed to say something quite this important. 

"Maybe..." There was a long pause, and she began to worry that he'd gone. 

"Carrteeeeer? You still there?" She continued the teasing: it covered up her concern that he'd been cut off before they got to finish the conversation. 

"I've got to go... I do love you Abby..." Her breath caught in her throat as she heard the words. It was one thing seeing them written on paper, but hearing him say them was something else. She could hear the love in his voice as he said it, and it meant so much to her. The time for teasing and jokes was over. She didn't need to hide behind them anymore, she knew exactly what she had to say. 

"I love you too..." 

The phone crackled, and the line cut out. Had she told him in time? 

*** 

He lay watching her sleep, every breath she took was graceful and perfect...her hair fanned out behind her. Slowly she opened her eyes and smiled at him, leaning towards him... 

"Abby" He mumbled, awaking himself by trying to reach out for her on the small bumpy plane. 

He shut his eyes, trying to get back to the dream that felt so real...trying in vain to close his eyes again, but the plane constantly shuddered underneath him, making him wonder how he drifted to sleep in the first place. 

"Who's Abby?" he jumped, forgetting completely that he was travelling with Gillian now. 

"Abby's my..." 

He stopped, aware that Gillian had just lost Luka, possibly the only man to ever have a real hold over her, instead of the other way round. Her eyes were bloodshot, her cheeks blotchy from the tears which had fallen there... 

"Friend." 

*** 

"You okay Abby?" Susan asked, as she entered the doctor's lounge and saw her friend lying on the couch. 

"Yeah, just tired." She swung her legs over the side of the couch and sat up. Susan raised an eyebrow. 

"Anything you want to tell me?" 

"What?" Abby stared at her. "Oh...no! Definitely not." She shook her head, laughing to herself slightly. "I'm just tired. I couldn't sleep last night. I just lay there the whole night, thinking about him travelling across the Congo, through all that danger. And then when I did get to sleep I dreamt about him being shot. So I gave up trying to sleep." She sighed. 

"You miss him?" She really did look awful, Susan noted. The question didn't really need to be asked. 

"Miss him doesn't quite cover it," she sighed. "I miss him so much. And I'm scared that he's not going to come back to me. I have all these images in my head of what's happening to him. I haven't heard from him since he rang me at the airport yesterday." 

"You weren't expecting to hear from him yet, though," Susan comforted, sitting down next to her friend. 

"Doesn't make me feel any better." Abby put her hand across her mouth as she yawned. "I've been such a fool, Susan." 

"No you haven't!" 

"I have. I rejected him. I said I wouldn't marry him unless he didn't go, or came back safe. But now, if he dies, he'll never know how I feel." 

"Oh, he knows Abby! He wouldn't have asked you to marry him otherwise." 

"I guess." She paused once again. "I tried to tell him on the phone. I said I loved him, but...it cut out, and I don't know if he heard." She could feel a tear trickle down her cheek. "And it scares me that I didn't get to say it to him, possibly." 

"I told you Abby, he knows." She pulled her friend into a hug. "Anyway, Carter's not going to die. You see, he loves you too much to just leave you like that." 

"Well he won't have much choice." 

"This is Carter we're talking about," Susan laughed. "Seriously, that man could and would do anything for you!" 

*** 

They'd been there three days now, and had exhausted nearly all their options. The last chance lay with a member of the negotiating team of the red cross, although any possibility of Luka being alive was now doubtful after Carter and Gillian had received his ID covered in blood, from the Red Cross Headquarters- they had both dared to believe he could be alive, but now it was a mission of merely recovering his body. 

It was midday, the red hot sun beating down, sweat trickling down both their faces. Carter had no idea exactly who this member of the negotiating team was, but Gillian seemed to know whoever it was they were looking for, and pointed to a silhouetted figure in the distance. 

"Debbie?!" Gillian called excitedly. 

"Gillian..." She turned towards them, despite this Carter was blinded by the light and couldn't focus on "Debbie" properly. 

As she climbed down from the Red Cross truck, he gained a proper look at her. She was possibly the most beautiful woman he had seen, he almost forgot to breathe for a second... 

"Debbie, this is John Carter; he was a friend of Luka Kovac." 

"I'm very sorry Mr. Carter." she replied, studying his face intently. 

"Its Dr. Carter." It was unnerving the way that she watched him, without conveying any trace of emotion or what she was thinking. 

"So what do you need me for?" 

"We're trying to recover Luka's body - so that I can take it back to the US. We were informed that money could hopefully uncover his body faster..." He trailed off at the end of the sentence, remembering how Abby had once told him he should use the money in a way he felt passionate. 

"Huh. Well Dr. Carter, money isn't everything. If either side gets hold of the fact we are using money to influence, we would lose any neutral standing we have...as well as being killed. And we're talking dead with heads mounted on a pointed sticks." 

She walked off, tossing her blonde hair back into the sun-bleached hat. He and Gillian turned to leave, walking down the dusty track. 

"I told you she was your type..." 

"What? When?! She's not my type at all." He stuttered in protest. 

"Hey Ritchie Rich! If you want some information on Dr. Kovac, I need a Doctor to accompany me to Kivu and transport some of the wounded?" 

He looked at Gillian, who nodded in reply. 

"Sure." 

"Definitely not my type." He muttered to Gillian, unsure of who he was trying to kid, himself or her. 

*** 

Abby crossed another day off on her calendar, sighing. She'd never done this before: there had never been anything to count down to. Birthdays and Christmas were just another day; she'd never expected presents or a nice meal. Not that she was actually counting down: she couldn't count down, because she didn't know when he'd be back. She didn't even know when she would hear from him again. It was three days since she'd last heard from him, and although she kept assuring herself that he was away from phones it didn't really help. 

There were so many things to worry about. What if he got hurt by the Mai Mai? What if he was caught in crossfire? What if he got through all that fine, but then crashed in the plane on the way home? What if he met another woman? 

She knew her last two thoughts were fairly irrational, but that didn't matter. She knew if they were going to get married she would have to trust him explicitly, but she didn't seem to be able to do that right now. Why, she didn't know. He'd always been faithful to her, and yet she had this nagging feeling that something might happen. 

She threw the pen down on the worktop, angry at herself for thinking like that. She seemed to be doing it far too much recently, and she hated herself for it. There was only one person who seemed to be able to make her see sense: Susan. As she reached for the phone, it began to ring. Maybe Susan could read her mind now, she thought, laughing to herself. 

"Hello, Abby Lockhart," she said, answering the phone. 

"Abby, it's me!" 

"Mom?" She sighed, wishing she'd got to the phone a second sooner so that she could be talking to Susan right now. "Is everything okay?" 

"Yes, it's fine." 

"Why did you ring then?" She couldn't help feeling irritated: not only could she not talk to Susan, but every second that she was on the phone to someone else Carter couldn't call her. 

"I just wanted to chat. Isn't that allowed?" Abby sighed once again. Sure it was allowed, and they'd been getting on a lot better recently. But she didn't remember ever talking to her Mom on the phone before, unless there was an emergency. Never without a reason. "So how are things with you and John?" Ah, the interrogation. Perhaps her mother had some sixth sense that told her there was news. But Abby wasn't going to let her in on it just yet, especially when it wasn't exactly official. 

"We're okay," she provided, before deciding Maggie probably wanted more details. "He's gone to Africa?" 

"Why? Is he trying to run away from you?" Wow, great way to make me feel better Maggie, Abby thought, sighing angrily. 

"Please do not get me started on that Maggie, you don't want to know and I don't want to tell..." 

*** 

When they finally arrived upon the place they were seeking, they found a sight for sore eyes. The clinic had been burnt down, evidence strewn everywhere possible of the bloodshed and loss of life. 

The Mai-Mai boys sat, undisturbed by the fact of what surrounded them. 

Carter took in what he could, before looking away, repulsed. He was shocked when he heard Debbie yelling at the boys... 

"You burned a clinic to the ground. What the hell do you think the big Red Cross is for? If you keep burning down hospitals where are you going to go when you get shot or your mother gets sick?!" She fumed, venting her anger, knowing full well the boys did not speak English and therefore wouldn't respond. 

Gillian noticed keenly the look of admiration in John's eyes... 

*** 

He sat on the crumbling wall over looking the destroyed site, dirty, torn, shaken and wanting escape somehow. 

He fumbled his i-pod out of his pocket, closed his eyes and let the music drift over him...soothing him...he wasn't aware that anyone had walked up towards him, until he felt a hand placed upon his shoulder. 

His heart jumped for a second, thinking it would be one of the Mai-Mai until he realised it was only Debbie. Only Debbie. Those two words seemed to treble his heart speed more than if he was under attack. 

"Trying to escape?" 

"It's pretty hard in this place..." 

"What you listening to?" 

"Les Nubians." 

"No Dixie Chicks on that thing?" 

"Dixie Chicks?" he repeated teasingly in disbelief. 

"You don't like the Dixie Chicks?!" She looked teasingly back with those deep blue eyes... 

"Country and Western. I don't know..." 

"Don't know what you're missing" 

"Maybe..." he replied, not convinced. 

"So what are you doing out here? You don't seem the type," she asked becoming serious. 

"There's a type?" 

"Two. Macho adrenaline junkies and save the world peaceniks." 

"So what does that make you?" 

"Guess..." 

"I think I value my life more than that..." He grinned at her, then became serious.   
"You know, I consider myself as reasonably well informed. I read the New York Times, watch Nightline, listen to NPR. But before I came here I hadn't heard a thing about the Congo." 

"Nobody gives a damn about what happens out here. There are no real American interests in West Africa. Half the continent is dying of AIDS and the pharmaceutical companies won't produce cheaper versions of their HIV drugs to save millions of lives. Just a bunch of savages that get what they deserve. We'll drop into any Third World s**thole to protect a pipeline for Texas oil interests, but three million people are slaughtered and we're too busy watching Survivor." 

He thought about this for a moment, and glanced at her, once more in admiration. There was no other word for it, he respected her for doing what she did, for being outspoken, for being feisty...he felt the urge to justify himself to her, and open up. 

"I'm not sure what I'm doing out here. I'm not sure what I'm doing period. Seemed simple six months ago. I've been seeing this woman, a wonderful woman who I know I shouldn't be with- it's not good for her or me." 

"What makes you say its not good for you or her?" she enquired, leaning close towards him. He could almost count the freckles on her nose, the beads of sweat upon her forehead. 

"Meeting you..." he replied. He was deeply aware it was wrong, his head and heart screamed no...he felt the guilt surge through him as their lips combined, yet he couldn't tear himself away from that moment. 

*** 

_Please review! Please don't kill us! And please don't stop reading...you know you want to trust us to sort this all out plausibly. :-p ;) And please, we don't want any flames about Carter never cheating on Abby and all that. Please just trust us that this WILL be okay. ;)_


	8. Part Eight

_Author's Note: Thank you so much for the reviews, we really are amazed by how lovely you all are. And we can't thank you enough for keeping an open mind about the Carter thing! :-D Hopefully this part will sort a few things out...please let us know what you think!   
Jo & Lise xx_

Part Eight

Abby smiled happily to herself as she restocked the drug cupboard. Today had turned out pretty good. The conversation with Maggie last night had eventually been quite friendly, and she felt a lot better after talking about John for a bit. Then she'd rung Susan and had a long chat about everything. Not really talking about John or Africa much, just about girly things, and having a laugh. She'd had a good night's sleep for the first time since he'd left, and woken up relatively happy with her life. 

This morning she had come into work with a positive attitude, ready for whatever the day threw at her. As it had turned out the ER had been relatively quiet, although busy enough to keep herself occupied. She hummed quietly to herself as she worked. 

"You sound happy today," Susan said, entering the drug cupboard. 

"Yeah, I think everything's going to be okay." She reached up to the top shelf, placing a few boxes of haldol on it. 

"I told you." Susan grinned, pleased with herself, as she took the drug she needed off the shelf. "See, you should always listen to Auntie Susan." Abby laughed loudly. 

"Don't get carried away with yourself." She turned to her friend, having finished stacking the shelves. "Last night I thought about going over to his house and getting the engagement ring. It feels right you know? I want to marry him." 

*** 

The sun was setting in the distance, casting a purple glow between the lip- locked couple...she ran her hands through the back of his dampened hair, tickling the back of his neck. 

He turned slightly, sending the i-pod crashing to the dry floor with a clatter. The noise seemed to bring the pair back to reality, in Carter's case the enormity of what he just did came crashing down on him like a mob of rowdy Mai-Mai. 

Abby. _What about Abby? She doesn't want to marry you!_ She does, I know she does... _Then why did she refuse, go on big shot, tell me that!_ His conscience battled inside him, trying to rationalise the moment, trying to calm the panic descending upon him. 

In her unblinking, unquestioning way Debbie knew this, it was as though she could read his deepest thoughts, just by a blink of her eyes. 

"I'm sorry...that really shouldn't have happened..." he began, stuttering slightly. 

"I know." She replied matter of factly. "Its kind of testing if the grass is greener on the other side? And I'm taking it the grass is dried and brown..." 

"Debbie...it's not that I'm not attracted to you, because I am." 

"Hey John, forget it. I already have." 

She turned to leave, throwing her hat back on once more. 

"Oh by the way...get some sleep, I'm going to wake you up early. We'll take the Rover over to Kanese with a couple of the Mai Mai while everybody else loads the trucks. See what we can find out..." 

*** 

"Anyone know a good restaurant?" Abby asked as she leant against the admit desk. 

"Depends what you're looking for," Lydia responded, standing in a similar position. 

"Something nice. I thought I'd take Carter out for a meal when he gets back from Africa." 

"That's sweet." 

"Isn't the guy supposed to take the girl out?" Randi added. "Besides, doesn't he have all the money?" 

"Yeah, but I wanted to do something romantic for him for once. He's always doing all sorts of romantic things for me, I want to do the same for him." 

"I have an idea!" Chen exclaimed, excited. "Don't take him out, this is what you're going to do..." 

*** 

The hurriedly set up camp was in darkness now, Carter was vaguely aware he should be taking advantage of this rare peace and sleep... but he couldn't be further from it. 

He remembered the exact moment that their lips had touched, it had excited him, he felt a powerful emotion throughout him, which he now identified as guilt, not passion. 

He played it over, and over, and over again in his mind...eventually the woman who he had kissed hadn't been Debbie, but Abby. 

There had been so many reasons, empty excuses keeping them from being together... 

The addictions. She tried to battle it, and he knew she would do it... he had. It was just helping her do it without being seen as though he wanted to "fix" her, as she so often accused. 

Their families. His wealth, her mother, definitely her brother, combining the two at his Grandmother's funeral. He lost sight for a while after she died, he believed no-one could come close to giving him the love he had received from Gamma, although Abby had already exceeded that. 

He tried to roll over and sleep, but these thoughts mounted on his brain, like coiled springs keeping his eyes wide open. 

In a last attempt to get some sleep before going to Kanese to recover Luka, the real issue at hand, he summoned a happy memory... 

The Lockdown. They were ok then, and he was pretty sure he was going to make it ok now, too. 

*** 

"What's this I hear about you cooking for Carter?" Susan asked as she and Abby stood outside the hospital, waiting for an incoming trauma. 

"It was Deb's idea. For when he comes back, to show him I can do sweet romantic things too." 

"And does Deb know what your cooking's like?" 

"Hey!" Abby hit her friend on the arm playfully. "She said she'll help. And I'm sure you'd love to give me a hand too." 

"No thanks, I don't fancy being burnt to a cinder." Abby gave her a sarcastic smile, returning her attention to the road up to the ambulance bay. "Okay Abby, you're really starting to scare me now. What happened to our old cynical Abby?" 

"I threw her away," she laughed, and Susan joined her, shaking her head. "I just thought, what's the point? Why do I keep telling myself that he'll get himself killed, I may as well just look forward to getting him back. Let that keep me going. And why do I keep thinking he'll meet someone else? I realised last night how stupid I am: he loves me, I love him. That's how simple it is." 

*** 

_Please review, and let us know how you think! :-D Boost our egos a bit more and it might make us write faster! lol! More soon, when we've written it. :-p ;)_


	9. Part Nine

_Author's Note: Thanks as always for all your reviews! :-D And to the person who said could the chapters be a bit longer - this one is! I hope it's a good length for you! hehe! Thing is...if you want longer chapters you have to wait longer while we write it. :-p ;) lol! Please let us know what you think.   
Jo & Lise xx_

Part Nine

It was early in the morning, the sun beginning to rise on the horizon. Carter sat next to Debbie in the front of the truck, while Gillian sat in the back, in a haze of smoke from her cigarette. 

Gillian noticed that there was an uncomfortable silence descended on the vehicle...whether or not it was the prospect of finally finding Luka, or something else entirely, she didn't know. 

"What made you change your mind?" Carter asked suddenly, his voice seeming loud after the long period of silence. 

"About what?" Debbie asked not making eye contact, Gillian observed.   
"You've come a long way, figured the least I could do was help you get the last ten miles..." she continued, coughing slightly from the cigarette fumes. 

"Gillian! How can you smoke this early in the morning?" 

Once again, no one spoke for a while; they drove along not speaking just occasionally bobbing out of their seats as the truck navigated down the beaten track. 

"It is gonna cost you though..." Debbie spoke first this time.   
"What is?" Carter replied, pulling himself out of the daze he was in, staring out of the window. 

"I had to bribe the Mai Mai to get them to bring us out here..." 

"I thought you were against anything that would compromise your neutrality... how much?" 

"Not money, your digital gizmo" 

"The Mai Mai want an I-Pod?" he queried in disbelief, she nodded in reply. "And that won't get you into any sort of trouble?" 

"They can't eat it or use it a weapon, I think we're safe..." They both smiled at each other, as the truck drew to a halt. 

"Here we go..." 

The three words escaped Debbie's mouth, and ran down Gillian's spine... 

*** 

Abby turned the page of the magazine over absentmindedly, only staring at the page and not really reading it. It wasn't that interesting anyway, just a tacky gossip magazine, but even if it had been it wouldn't have held her attention. Her mind was elsewhere. In The Congo, to be exact. She'd kept herself occupied for the evening by watching The West Wing, but now that it had finished there was nothing to do but think about him. And pretend to read this magazine. 

She stood up, throwing the magazine onto the floor next to the TV. It was pointless sitting around at home doing nothing, she may as well take a late night walk. She grabbed her bag, and made her way out of the door. She didn't know where she was going, just that she was going to walk somewhere. Wherever her feet took her. 

The first place she found herself was the El station. She shrugged to herself, laughing at her mind's strange idea of a 'walk'. Despite this, she got on the next train that pulled up. She might as well just take a ride, now that she was here. 

The train rattled along, from station to station. Abby sat, watching all the people getting on and off, going about their business, unaware that a lovesick nurse was sitting staring at them, wondering who they were and what they were doing. Eventually she tired of her task, and stepped off the train at a random station. She wasn't sure where it was, but knew she could immediately get a train back the other way if she was stuck in the middle of no where. 

Looking at the sign on the station, she realised she'd managed to find her way to the El station nearest to the Carter mansion. Without even thinking about it, she could still manage to get herself back to him. Except he wasn't here. There wasn't any harm in taking a little walk around, though. No one could stop her, she was the future Mrs. Carter, after all. Well, sort of...if he'd ask her again after all this. 

She ran down the stairs from the station, and then began her walk towards the mansion. She noticed as she walked what a long way it was: of course, you wouldn't build a railway line next to the house of the richest family in Chicago! Twenty minutes later, she found herself standing at the end of the Carter drive. It would be easiest just to turn around and go back home now. There was nothing to see or do at the house. 

But something made her start the ten minute walk up the long driveway. She noticed as she walked that the lights came on along the driveway as she approached them. She'd never noticed that before. Then again, you didn't exactly expect there to be sensor lights along a driveway. Most people didn't have driveways that long! It occurred to her halfway along that this would be the perfect setting for a movie to be filmed. She could just picture the movie's heroine, running down the driveway towards her love, rain pouring down and drenching her. 

As if on cue, the rain began to fall. She laughed at the situation, before realising that she was over twenty minutes walk from the El station. It would have to be a taxi, she decided, delving into her bag for her cell. As she rummaged around her hand grasped around an unfamiliar feeling key chain. She pulled it out, and after a moments thought realised it was the key Carter had left with her the morning he left for Africa, so that she could lock up when she left. 

Five minutes more to the house. Five minutes back to the end of the road where she could wait for a taxi to arrive, once she'd called. The house certainly sounded more appealing, she decided. And he wouldn't mind. She increased her pace as she walked the final distance to the house, the rain soaking her. Stepping up to the front door, she lifted the key and inserted it into the lock. It felt strange, letting herself into a mansion. 

The door swung open, revealing the large hallway. She stepped in shyly, making sure to shut the door quietly. There may be no one here, but she still felt like she had to be quiet, in order to please the non-existent inhabitants. She shivered in her wet clothes, and realised she'd have to change into something. There must be a laundry room in this place, she'd just have to change into one of Carter's t-shirts and go dry her clothes. 

*** 

Debbie stood behind Gillian & Carter, not wanting to intrude on the difficult situation. 

"Ready?" He whispered to her gently. 

She nodded, looking the most vulnerable he had ever seen her. He took her hand in his, and they approached the young Mai Mai boy at the entrance; he couldn't have been more than 15 years old. 

"Nous devons trouver quelqu'un, nous le croyons est ici?" [_we need to find someone, we believe he is here_] Gillian enquired, her voice trembling slightly. 

"Avez-vous une image?" [_do you have a picture?_] The Mai Mai boy replied robotically. 

"Oui..." [_yes_] She dug Carter in the ribs with her elbow, and whispered urgently "The ID card..." 

"Le prêtre..." [_The priest_] The Boy spoke softly, and walked into the schoolhouse. Carter looked in confusion at Gillian, who pulled his arm along as they both followed the boy inside. 

*** 

After finding the right room, which was no easy feat in this house, Abby managed to find herself a pair of jogging pants and a sweater. She pulled them on, and then picked up her wet clothes, ready to go to the drying room, which she had already found in her search for his bedroom. As she walked past the mirror she realised what a mess her hair was. Well, he was sure to have a comb or brush somewhere. She opened the top drawer of the dressing table, looking through for something to brush her hair with. 

As she searched around, her hand fell on the now familiar blue box. She picked it up out of the drawer, opened it, and stared at the sparkling diamond. She sighed sadly. That ring belonged on her finger, but she had been so stupid, and now it lived in a drawer in a bedroom in an old mansion. She carefully took it out of the box, and stared at it intently. She may have promised herself she wouldn't just go and get the ring, but it felt wrong to leave it sitting here now. She carefully slid it onto her finger, and sighed happily. It would feel better to have him slide it on, but right now she needed it. She needed something to feel closer to him, while he was off in a war zone, and this was it. 

Realising her quest for a hairbrush was futile, she decided she'd wash her hair. Taking one last look at the ring, she headed off to the door to her right, into the en-suite bathroom. 

*** 

The walk into the building seemed to last a lifetime, every step taken with great care, not really wanting to face whatever awaited them. 

Gillian tugged on his hand leading him forwards, yet she paused for reasons unknown to him. That is until it hit him. He stepped back for a second, gasping for clean intoxicated air. Yet the smell still filled his nostrils, catching on the back on his throat... the smell of rotting flesh mixed with tremendous heat and decay. The smell of death, quite simply. 

The Mai-Mai boy carried on wading through the corpses, unaware of the disgust of the two visitors. He'd reached a dark, damp corner now; several freshly murdered bodies lay by, entry wounds through their heads. Both Carter and Gillian were feeling extremely faint and repulsed by what they had seen, but something kept their attention to that spot. 

In the very back of the corner, a mass lay beneath a dirt blanket - the only way to distinguishing this ray of hope being that is was moving...something below it was moving backwards then forwards almost in a motion on bowing to some unknown figure. 

The boy pulled away the fabric to reveal a man with long, dark, straggly hair, someone very familiar who had been distorted almost beyond recognition by the cruel regime, only recognisable was by accented, delirious mutterings in Croatian. 

*** 

"I'm hanging by a moment here with you, letting go of all I've held onto, I'm standing here until you make me move, I'm hanging by a moment here with you!" Abby sang at the top of her voice as she stood in the shower. She may as well take the opportunity to sing as loud as she liked in the shower with no chance of anyone hearing. Rubbing the shampoo into her hair, she continued with the song. "Forgetting all I'm lacking, completely incomplete, I'll take you invitation and you take all of me!" She loved this song. It always made her think of her and John. He'd taken all of her, completely captured her heart and her mind. 

As she thought about him, her hair caught on the ring. She grinned to herself as she untangled the mass of wet shampoo-y hair from the diamond. She intended to have this problem for the rest of her life now. "There's nothing else to lose, there's nothing else to fight, there's nothing in the wor...argh!" she exclaimed, as her hair once more caught around the ring. Despite her best intentions, the constant tangling was beginning to annoy her. She carefully slipped the ring off, mentally apologising to her fiancé, all those thousands of miles away. Carefully placing it with her towel next to the sink she returned to wash the shampoo out of her hair. 

Ten minutes, and a rendition of "Have I Told You Lately That I Love You" later, she stepped out of the shower. Blindly she reached for the towel, and wiped at the water in her eyes with it. Then she wrapped the towel around herself, and turned to retrieve her engagement ring. 

"No!" she exclaimed, seeing no sign of the ring. She stared at the sink next to where it had sat before. "No, please not the sink..." She stared down into the plughole, but couldn't see anything. Sighing angrily she turned and stormed out of the bathroom, on a mission to retrieve her ring. How she was going to shut off the water and find something to undo the pipes was debatable, but right now she'd try anything. 

The basement seemed a likely place, and so she made her way down there. She'd never seen a basement so big. She probably hadn't even seen a room so big. All around were shelves, any of which could contain the tools she needed. How was she ever going to find them? And did she even know what tools she even needed? 

Once more sighing angrily, she started her search. Looking on shelves, in cupboards, under shelves. Not knowing what you were looking for really didn't help. 

"Can I help you?" Abby froze. There wasn't meant to be anyone else here... 

"Hello." She turned around to face the visitor, blushing and self consciously clutching the towel that was the only thing covering her. 

"Did you need something?" 

"No, I...er, yes." She paused, staring at the both friendly and intimidating elderly man. "I was trying to shut the water off." He raised an eyebrow. "I lost my engagement ring down the sink." She could tell he was thinking she was some loony who'd broken into the mansion. "Sorry, who are you?" 

"Hubert. I was one of the housekeepers, I live at the end of the drive. I noticed some lights on, and since Dr. Carter's away I thought I'd come and investigate." He paused. "I could ask the same of you." 

"Me? Oh, I..." She was suddenly at a loss for words. How did she explain the absurd circumstances that had brought her to the house this evening? "Abby," she provided eventually, smiling broadly at him. She held out a hand, which he shook cautiously. "Nice to meet you Hubert." 

"And you...Abby." He stared at her once more, a quizzical expression on his face. She realised telling him her name hadn't explained why she was here. 

"I'm John's fiancé. Dr. Carter. He gave me a key." Hubert looked her up and down, taking in the sight before him. She realised she didn't give a very good impression. Wrapped in a towel barely large enough to cover her, hair dripping all over the floor, and cheeks flushed from her hurried search for her ring. 

"Of course." 

"Sorry, I'm a bit..." she paused, looking down at herself. "I only just got out of the shower. That's when I lost the ring." Abby smiled, and Hubert returned it, moving off to another area of the basement. 

Fifteen minutes later the water had been shut off, Abby had put an old t-shirt of John's on, and she and Hubert were sitting in the middle of the bathroom floor, attempting to unscrew the outlet pipe. Hubert whistled as he twisted the bolt, slowly coming closer to finding the ring. Abby recognised the tune, but couldn't quite place it. When she realised what it was she laughed out loud: it certainly wasn't something she expected Hubert to know. 

"Is something amusing, miss?" he asked politely, his whole attitude to have having changed since he discovered she was his master's fiancée. 

"Did you hear me singing in the shower earlier?" He shook his head. "You must have done! How else do you know Hanging By A Moment? Forgive me if I'm wrong, but I don't think Lifehouse is exactly your kind of music." 

"Dr. Carter used to sing it, I suppose I picked it up." Abby grinned, thinking of John singing it like she had, and thinking of them when he sang it like she did. She imagined him now, in Africa, humming or singing it to while away the time, and remind him of her. "Here you are." 

"What?" she looked up, surprised at his voice after being lost in her thoughts. He held the ring in front of her, and she smiled. "Thank you Hubert!" She slid it back onto her finger, before pulling herself to stand. "I think this mess can wait till the morning. Coffee, Hubert?" 

*** 

Somehow...he had no idea how but they had done it. With a lot of negotiating help from Debbie, they had managed the one thing that seemed so impossible from the outset. 

They had managed to remove Luka from the tainted schoolhouse, despite the fact he was weak, and delirious. 

"Is this wise?!" Carter queried to Debbie and Gillian quietly, helping them support the large, limp frame. 

"If you want to get your friend away from this, yes." 

"But he has malaria, Debbie." 

"Don't treat me like a fool because I'm not a doctor! I do realise what symptoms he is showing - sweating, shivering, nausea, fever..." 

"Can we just go please children?!" Gillian snapped, aware of the growing uproar from some of the Mai-Mai at letting Luka go. 

"Good idea." Debbie replied, shooting a look of contempt at Carter. 

*** 

Abby lay on her back in John's bed, staring up at the ceiling. After Hubert had very politely refused her offer of coffee, she'd sent him off back home and then decided it was bedtime. She'd briefly thought about whether she should call a taxi and go home, in case he rang her there tonight. But, she had realised, that wouldn't be very practical as her clothes were still soaking wet and she'd been wearing his t-shirt. 

So now she was lying in his bed, fiddling with the soft fabric of the duvet, which undoubtedly cost a large amount of money, and being unable to fall asleep. "Thinking of you's working up my appetite," she sang quietly, more in tune now that he wasn't lying next to her making her laugh. "Looking forward to a little afternoon delight." If only he were here. She splayed herself out across the whole bed. As a kid she'd longed for the space of a double bed. Now it felt like there was too much space, without him here. "Rubbing sticks and stones together makes the sparks ignite. And the thought of loving you is getting so exciting." If only she could sing those words to him now. She remembered singing this to him not so long ago, and pretending she'd forgotten those words. She hadn't been ready to admit them yet. But now, she wanted to sing them as loud as she could. "And the thought of loving you is getting so exciting," she sang once again, louder this time, relishing the words. 

This really wasn't helping her get to sleep. She sighed once more, picking a hole in the cover. The very expensive cover. "And the thought of loving you..." this time she sang more softly, and thoughtfully. "Sky rockets in flight, afternoon delight." Her eyelids slowly began to droop. "...loving you is getting so exciting." 

*** 

Night had descended when they returned to the clinic, Carter had one thing on his mind. 

The temperamental phone whirred noisily as he tried to dial the digits, but there was no answer at her apartment, and he didn't feel like making conversation with Frank or Jerry at County. 

"Hey John..." Gillian walked into the small room, and sat at the table. He replaced the phone, and sat opposite her. 

"I just...can't believe this is happening," she said breaking the silence. 

"I mean, I've prepared myself ever since I found out he'd been killed. I told myself I'd never see him again... never touch him, never be with him. Yet he's alive and I don't quite know how to deal with that." 

He held her hand gently, while she examined the grain of the aged table. 

"Who were you trying to ring then?" 

"What? Oh right." 

"Well?!"" she prodded. 

Realising his earlier lie, he blushed slightly. "I was ringing Abby... my fia-... well girlfriend." 

"Girlfriend?" she looked vaguely amused and slightly angry. "So you've let me try and set you up... how long you been together?!" 

"Just over a year, it seems so much longer though... I was kinda drawn to her the first time I met her, and that's never really faded."   
He smiled to himself, and continued.   
"We're so incompatible in so many ways, but yet still we go back for more...that must show something right?" 

"I just hope that I can make someone smile like that one day when they talk about me!" she teased wistfully. 

"Someone already does..." 

They raised a silent toast with the mis-matched cups.   
"To Luka." 

*** 

"Okay gorgeous?" Carter asked, watching her out of the corner of his eye. She nodded, grinning, and coming round to sit in front of him. 

"So, what do you want to do this evening?" she asked, smiling seductively. 

"Oh I don't know..." he trailed off, looking away, and then laughed. 

"Well what about this?" Their lips met in a passionate kiss. 

"That was great." He ran a hand through her long blonde hair. "You're beautiful Danni." 

"Hmm, so you keep telling me." She smiled, leaning in for another kiss... 

  
"No!" Abby screamed as sat bolt upright in bed. She breathed heavily, trying to get her bearings. She reached out next to her, to feel his body and reassure herself. He wasn't there. Her heart began to beat faster as she panicked about what he was doing. Off with some blonde somewhere? "No, John, please don't. I need you, I love you." Tears began to roll down her cheeks, and she just sat in bed crying. 

Gradually the shape of the dresser at the end of the bed came into her view, as her tear filled eyes adjusted to the dark. She stared at it hard, trying to figure out what it was. She definitely didn't have a dresser like that at home... 

And it all came back to her. The mansion. Africa. The ring. She wiped away the tears, angry at herself for getting so worked up. She lay back down, attempting once again to sleep. "And the thought of loving you..." 

*** 

"Hey this is Abby...I'm not here right now so leave a message, and I'll get back to you! Byeeeee." If he listened carefully he could hear himself laughing in the background - she'd re-recorded it with a falsely chirpy voice after he had teased her about sounding really fed-up. 

The loud beep brought him back to reality, and signalled him to leave a message. 

"Hey Abby, it's me...I can't get through to you here or on your cell, I'm getting quite worried. I'll try and ring you again later. Take care, bye." 

"Take care?" Why did he say that? That sounded guilty...he sighed at himself for being so dumb, and pushed all memories of that moment with Debbie out of his mind. 

Then he remembered - he was so wrapped up in his own problems, he'd completely forgotten to tell her about Luka! It'd have to wait 'til he actually spoke to her he supposed. 

*** 

Abby groaned as she awoke to the smell of bacon. Bacon was very nice, but she really hadn't been planning on waking up just yet, she wasn't on until eleven. She glanced sideways at the clock, seeing that it was nine already. Maybe she ought to get up, so that she could go back to her place and change before work. She swung her legs over the side of the bed, and stood up slowly. 

She made her way downstairs, in search of something that could pass as coffee. When she reached the kitchen, she stepped inside, and was shocked to find a woman standing by the cooker. She blinked in surprise, unsure what to do. Of course, she should have realised that the smell of bacon meant there was someone else around, but it hadn't occurred to her. 

Had the woman seen her? She didn't seem to have reacted to her presence. Looking down at John's t-shirt, just covering her ass, she decided it might be best to make a quick escape. She turned quietly, ready to slip out of the door. 

"Don't you want some bacon, dear?" she stopped dead in her tracks. So she had been seen. "Didn't think you'd been seen, did you?" Abby laughed quietly, as she slowly turned round. 

"I guess I didn't." The woman flipped the bacon over, leaving them silent for a moment. 

"Oh, I didn't introduce myself! How rude!" She laughed loudly. "I'm Anneliese, Hubert's wife." 

"Hi." Abby cautiously stepped further into the kitchen. 

"Don't be scared dear, take a seat!" Anneliese laughed, her bubbly personality obvious to Abby. "Hubert thought you might need a hand with breakfast, he recalled Dr. Carter mentioning that his girlfriend wasn't much of a cook." 

"He said that about me?" She raised an eyebrow. "Well he's not much better." 

"You know, we're all so happy for you both." Anneliese lifted the frying pan up, and moved along to where she'd placed a plate with some bread. "We were beginning to wonder whether he'd ever find the right woman!" She laughed loudly once again, as if it were some in joke. 

"Yeah..." Abby hesitated as the plate was handed to her. "Thanks." 

"You look a bit scared dear." Abby smiled cautiously. "Don't worry, we know you're the one! He never talked about any other girl like he talked about you." She sighed happily, and Abby couldn't help the overwhelming happiness that she felt, knowing that John hadn't kept her a secret. "Sorry the breakfast isn't much, but a bacon sandwich is quick and easy, and I didn't think you'd mind it." 

"More than I usually have." She munched on the sandwich, watching Anneliese watch her. 

"It's a shame there's not going to be anything for us to do here anymore, I enjoyed my time with Millicent and her family so much." Abby could see sadness in her eyes as she mentioned Gamma. 

"Well I'm sure we'll need you." She made an emphasis of the word 'we'. "It's not like the house is going to be suddenly abandoned. Anneliese nodded cautiously, causing Abby to feel a bit suspicious. Was there something going on here that she hadn't been let in on? "Well, I'd better go, I have to go home and change before my shift." She stood up quickly, turning to leave. "I'll just grab my bag and go." 

"Err, Abby dear!" Anneliese's voice halted her in the doorway. 

"Hmm?" 

"Clothes?" Abby looked down at herself, and the t-shirt. 

"Ah." Anneliese grinned, and winked at her. "Right, I'll go get changed, grab my bag and go. Thanks for breakfast!" 

*** 

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	10. Part Ten

_Author's Note: Well here it is, the next part. :) This one's pretty short, only 4 pages in Word - sorry! It will also be the last part for about 2 weeks, since Lise is going on holiday so we can't write. :( Part 11 is about half written, so when she comes back we'll try to get that done asap. ;)   
Please let us know what you think! :)   
Jo & Lise xx_

Part Ten:

"You're okay with this Gillian?! It's a huge thing to do..." 

"I'm a nurse John, its what I do," she replied boredly. 

"Its not just normal nursing though is it? Its the cycles of the disease, the sweating, shivering..." He trailed off, paused by the very look on her face. 

"You're going back to Chicago right?! He can hardly travel with you!" 

"I've already told you, I can stay." 

"No, John. I'm going to do this, and you need to go home... you don't belong here. You belong in Chicago, doing what you're best at." 

"What pretending situations like this don't happen? Thinking that the worst thing that could happen is my Jeep breaking down?" 

"I didn't say that - you know deep down what I mean." 

So that's how he found himself, back on the plane to Chicago, back home at last. 

*** 

"I am exhausted!" Susan exclaimed, as she joined Abby in the lounge at the end of their shift. "Starting at eleven is a nice lie in, but it does mean you don't get to finish till eleven at night." 

"Tell me about it," Abby laughed, pulling her coat out of the locker. 

"Hey, is that the ring?!" Susan exclaimed, grinning widely. "I thought I saw something earlier, but I wasn't sure if I was going mad." 

"Yeah, I thought I may as well go get it, since..." She trailed off as Kerry entered the room. 

"Oh, hi Kerry." Susan turned to Abby, seeking her approval, and received a roll of the eyes. Taking that as a yes, she grinned widely and took Abby's hand in hers. "Look at this." She thrust Abby's hand forward, displaying the ring. "They're getting married at last!" 

"Thank you Susan," Abby muttered. She wasn't exactly ready to tell everyone, when John wasn't even back yet. 

"Congratulations Abby." Kerry turned to the coffee machine, beginning to pour a cup. 

"Err...do you want to come out and celebrate with me and the soon to be Mrs. Carter?" Susan offered, much to Abby's surprise. 

"I only got on two hours ago." 

"Ah, graveyard shift." Susan nodded, still giving a friendly smile. "Well, we'll see you tomorrow then." She grabbed Abby's arm, and led her to the door. Once outside in the ambulance bay they stopped. "So, what do you say we celebrate? You, me, a pizza, a bottle of cherryade and a chick flick?" 

"Cherryade?" Abby raised an eyebrow. 

"It makes me hyper." 

"Right..." They both stood in silence for a moment. 

"Well?" 

"What? Oh, yeah...you know, I'm a bit tired. I might just go home. Sorry Susan." Susan nodded, masking the disappointment she felt. "Another time, yeah?" Abby made her way to the El station, certain of where she was going. 

"Er, Abby?" Susan stopped her. "That train will take you the wrong way for your apartment!" 

"Right..." She laughed, as if it were an honest mistake, and walked towards the other platform. "See you tomorrow Susan," she called as her friend walked off the other way. 

Hiding herself in the crowd on the stairs, she waited until Susan was out of sight, before rushing back down and up to the platform she'd previously been headed for. Once there, she boarded the first El train to arrive, and sat down, staring out the window as it rushed through Chicago. She smiled to herself as the reached the right stop, and got off, before beginning the twenty minute walk. 

When she reached her destination, she stopped at the end of the drive and knocked on the door of the little house there. Anneliese came to the door, and smiled widely when she saw who it was. 

"Abby! Do come in dear!" 

"Who is it Annie?" she could hear Hubert call from the back room. 

"It's Abby." Hubert made his way out to the front of the house. 

"Lovely to see you again dear. Can we get you something?" 

"Actually, I just wanted to let you know I'm staying at the house tonight, so I didn't worry you." 

"Oh, how considerate! Isn't that considerate, Hubert?" Anneliese enthused. "What a lovely polite fiancé John has!" Abby noticed the use of his first name, instead of 'Dr. Carter' now that they were in their own house, as if they had to be more careful around the mansion. 

After saying her goodbyes, and having to refuse several cups of tea, Abby made her way up the long drive to the house. 

*** 

"I can't believe I never saw that before!" Abby exclaimed as the credits of Oceans Eleven rolled up. 

"Me either. Sorry it didn't quite fit with the promised 'chick flick'." 

"I'm not so sure...there was some pretty nice eye candy there." She winked at her friend. "George Clooney..." 

"Hey, you're an engaged woman!" Susan laughed. 

"Yeah, and I'm going to make the most of it." She winked once again, and both burst out laughing. "Right, I'd better get going then." She pulled herself up from the sofa. "Is it okay if I use the phone to call a taxi?" 

"Sure. But do you have to leave so early?" 

"Sorry." Abby picked the phone up, dialling the number of the taxi company that she now held in her hand. "Hi, could I have a taxi please? From Rights Street. Yeah, that's the one. It'll be to the Carter mansion, you know on the outskirts of town? Yes sure, thank you!" She hung up the phone and turned around to see Susan staring at her. "What?" 

"You're going to the mansion?" 

"Yeah. I stayed there last night, and the night before." 

"Isn't it a bit...lonely?" 

"Well I have Hubert and Anneliese down the end of the drive, who are lovely." Susan raised an eyebrow. "Old housekeepers. And I feel lonelier if I stay at my place because...well, the mansion's his. It helps me feel a bit closer to him while he's over the other side of the world getting himself killed." 

"Aww!" Susan couldn't help an enormous grin spreading across her face. "You are so sweet. And totally in love." She smiled sadly now. "Do you have any idea how jealous I am right now?" 

"Try George Clooney," Abby winked. "I've heard he's rather nice..." 

*** 

A light flicked on in the small gatehouse as he walked slowly down the large gravelled driveway, lumbered by the large holdall. 

"Dr. Carter?!" the female voice called uncertainly. 

"Hey Annie! Still a light sleeper as ever?!" 

"You know me, Dr. Carter... better than any security guard. Mind you, my Hubert wouldn't be much good - not even ravaging wolves could wake him!" The small homely lady rambled on, her voice trickling in one ear, and out the other. 

"Oh and my the way... your young wife to be is up at the house, has been quite a lot since your departure! Hubert and I were only saying the other day..." 

"Abby's here?!" He asked cutting through her. 

"Yes, dear. I expect you'll be wanting to be off joining her?" 

"I expect I will! Night Annie!" 

*** 

He stood at the foot of the bed, discarding his jacket and bag messily on the floor. There was something that felt more than right about watching her fast asleep in his old t-shirt, his duvet wrapped tightly around her. He stood examining every inch of her, taking in every minuscule detail, as if she would suddenly disappear beneath him. 

It was then he saw a slight sparkle on her finger, beneath her fanned out blonde hair. "Hey..." he whispered softly, kneeling down at the bedside. 

She murmured, twisting around in her sleep. At once he regretted trying to wake her from her peaceful dreams. 

Her hand slid out from beneath the cover, and turned his face back towards her. She smiled, her eyes portraying the joy she felt at being reunited with him. He didn't have to ask why she was there, he didn't need to, because he knew exactly it was craving contact in his absence in any way, shape or form. 

He nodded down towards the ring, and raised an eyebrow. 

"Well, you're home aren't you?" She stated as if indifferent. 

"I suppose I am..." 

She grinned at him once more, and kissed him with all the hunger and passion that had been building up towards him. He had no hesitation in returning the gesture, tracing the path she laid.   
He clambered up beside her in the bed, content to hold her in his arms, all night. 

That was how they lay for several minutes. Her head placed beneath his chin, his arm placed loosely, but protectively around her waist. 

"Abby..." 

"Yup?" 

"Doesn't Abby Carter sound weird?!" 

"It sounds like two first names!" she giggled. 

"How about Abigail Carter?!" 

"Now that sounds classy!" 

They lay in silence, tiredness descending upon them. 

"Abby?!" She jumped, awoken from her daze. 

"Carteeeeeeer," she moaned, prodding him with her foot. 

"Oooooh!" He moaned in reply. 

"Oh please! That did not hurt!" 

"No, but your feet are freezing!" 

They both laughed, her at the indignant tone of his voice, him at her laughter. 

*** 

_Please review, you know how much we love it! :-D Thanks for all the reviews so far. ;) We hope you enjoyed the fuzziness of this chapter! :)_


	11. Part Eleven

_Author's Note: Wow, it's been a long time. Sorry about that! But we finally got a new chapter done for y'all. Hope this is worth the wait. Please let us know what you think, as always - we live off feedback! :-D   
Jo & Lise_

Part Eleven:

"You sure you're not too tired to go to work?" Abby fussed as they walked down the drive together, hand in hand. After debating whether or not they should call a taxi, or ask Hubert to take them to county, they'd decided a walk to the El station would do them good. And give them a chance to catch up. 

"Stop fussing, you're not my wife yet." He winked at her, making sure she knew he was joking. "Anyway, I could ask you the same question, if you know what I mean..." 

"I was not talking about that!" She rolled her eyes at him. "I mean, you've been travelling the last two days." 

"Yeah, to get back to you. And now I'm here, I'm not going anywhere." Abby sighed sadly. "What's wrong?" 

"You said that before. Do you remember, when Eric was arrested?" He nodded. "What happened to us John? We screwed ourselves up so badly." He squeezed her hand tightly. "We were going so good, and then everything got completely out of hand. I pushed you away, I did stupid things...and you did a bit of the same. We practically broke up. How did we let that happen?" 

"I don't know," he replied sadly. "But we're together now." 

"How could that happen though? When I've never loved anyone in my life like I love you." 

"Say that again?" 

"Say what?" 

"I love you, Abby." She smiled, realising what he'd meant, and relishing the moment, the first moment he'd said those words to her face to face. 

"I love you too." A grin spread across his face, and he stopped in the middle of the track. Turning to face her, he bent down and kissed her gently yet passionately. When they pulled apart, both were still grinning. "I'm going to say that more often now." 

"I hope you do." He took her hand back in his, and began walking again. "You know, that's all that matters. We had a rough patch, and it totally sucked. But we love each other, surely there's nothing else to it?" 

*** 

"How's it going?" Abby asked Carter as she entered the lounge. 

"Good. Except if I get asked how Luka is one more time I might strangle that person." 

"They just care," Abby laughed, joining him by the coffee maker. "We all thought he was dead, you know." 

"I know, so did I." He wrapped an arm around her waist as he waited for the coffee to be ready. "What about you, how was your morning?" 

"Err, apart from the fact Romano's been on my back all day, it's been okay." 

"Only okay?" 

"Yeah, it actually sucks a bit...this guy kept on grabbing me for a quick kiss." 

"Oh really? Should I be worried about this?" He laughed, lovingly playing with her hair. 

"I'm not sure. He seemed pretty eager. Couldn't keep his hands off me." His hand moved down her back, rubbing it gently. "It looks like he still can't." 

"I wouldn't have guessed." He leant in towards her, kissing her gently on the lip, teasing her, his hand still rubbing circles on her back. "Question is, do you mind this guy being a bit eager?" 

"That would depend..." He kissed her passionately, before drawing away slightly to gauge her reaction. "No, I don't mind one bit." This time she initiated the kiss, pulling herself as close to him as possible. "I love you," she managed to mumble in a moment when they parted slightly for air. As soon as she'd got the words out, his lips were back against hers. 

"Oh please!" Their moment was interrupted as the door was slammed open. They pulled apart slightly, and glanced towards the door where Romano stood. "If I wanted Romeo and Juliet I'd rent the video!" He turned, and made his way back out of the door. 

"Do you think he came in just so he could have a go at us?" Abby queried. 

"I have no idea, but it's not going to stop me." Once again he bent down so his lips met hers. 

"Dr. Carter!" They pulled apart once again. 

"I guess Romano won't let us off that easily." He stepped away from her, brushing a hand against her cheek as he did so. "I'll see you later." 

"Yeah, I'm sure you will," she laughed as he left the room. 

*** 

"Hey Man! How's Kovac?" Pratt asked sauntering into the lounge, where Carter lay tiredly across the couch. 

"He's good. He's being looked after well with one of the nurses I was telling you about." 

"Cool. You off?" 

"Yeah, just waiting for Abby to finish up..." 

"So all that chick-trouble has been sorted?" 

"Yeah...we're getting married!" He smiled happily; not even tiredness could mask his joy. 

In reply Pratt grinned, "D'ya know that two of three marriages end in divorce?" 

"Oh very funny..." Carter looked as though someone had slapped him. 

"Naaah, I'm only kidding Dr. C! You'd better hang on to her ya know! You're one lucky guy!" 

"Ha. Thanks. I'll be telling Deb..." 

*** 

"Where are we going?" Abby queried as they exited the ER together. 

"What do you mean?" 

"I mean are we going to the house or to my apartment tonight?" He shrugged. "Come on, you choose!" 

"Well, there is a lot of space in the house with no one to hear us...as long as we tell Hubert and Annie not to disturb us." She giggled, hitting him playfully on the arm. 

"Sounds good to me, come on you!" 

*** 

"Here we are then," he announced as they stepped into the hallway. 

"Yup." She looked around, grinning, before reaching towards him and kissing him. 

"Nice." He reached his arms around her, pulling her closer to him. She relaxed in his touch for a moment, before he suddenly started tickling her. 

"Carter!" she yelled through her giggles, pulling away from him, keeping her distance. "What are you doing?" 

"Tickling you." He grinned wickedly at her, causing her to squeal, and turn hurriedly towards the stairs. "Where are you going?" 

"Away from you!" She ran up the stairs, quickly followed by him. 

"Abigail Lockhart, come here!" he called out as he chased her. 

"No way. If you tickle me John Carter I swear I'll make sure our marriage never produces any children." He stopped in his tracks staring after her. 

"Children?" 

"Figure of speech." He stood still momentarily, biting his lip and thinking about the prospect of what she'd just unwittingly brought up. "Okay, I know I said not to get me, but doesn't standing still kind of defeat the point?" She was back at the top of the stairs now, watching him. 

"Ah no, I gave up on that. Stupid idea anyway." 

"Oh, okay." She began to step slowly back down the stairs. When she got closer he charged at her, pulling her into his arms and tickling her viciously. "No! Stop it! John!" she screamed loudly, squirming about in his arms. After a sufficient amount of squealing he stopped, just holding her close to him. "This isn't a trick is it?" 

"No," he replied, before leaning down and kissing her. "Abby, let's get married." 

"We are, silly!" she laughed, holding up her ringed finger. 

"No, I mean now. Tonight. We've waited too long already to get to this point. Marry me." 

"Tonight?" she echoed, pulling away from his embrace. He studied her face intently, trying to guess at what she was thinking. It wasn't particularly difficult. He knew her so well, the look of shock mingled with a frightened little girl was evident. 

"Oh it doesn't matter. It was just something said in the moment." He replied coolly. 

"Its not that I don't want to, you know I do! It's just..." 

"Really? Well your face said different then. Do you really want to marry me at all? Or is it the house you fell in love with... all of this" he spread his arms around gesturing towards the vast hallway... 

She stared at him blankly for a second, and rolled her eyes. "Did you really just ask that Carter? I think I'd better go, or you'll start question me even being near you. "How can you even ask that? That was the lowest remark I've heard you make, and I've heard quite a few recently. I wouldn't care if you didn't have a single possession to your name and you know that. Here..." she tugged the ring off her finger and placed it on the hall table. 

"Abby..." She glared at him pointedly, before turning to make her way towards the large doorway. "Abby." She didn't dare turn around to look at him. She could already feel herself beginning to cry. The last two weeks had been so emotional, she didn't think she'd ever cried so much in her life. She was like an emotional wreck. 

"See you at work," she managed to say with a strong voice, glad she didn't crack. The tears welled up in her eyes. Dammit Abby, she thought, don't do this. Don't let him get to you. But the truth was, he always got to her. Because she was so in love with him, every little thing he said got inside of her. Every snide, rude comment hurt her. And every compliment or loving comment made her feel warm and loved. 

"Abby. Wait." He was inside her skin, and no matter how hard either one of them tried she couldn't get him out. She sighed, and turned around slowly to look at him. The tears glistened in her eyes, and she could see he'd noticed. "Oh Abby." He stepped towards her, and pulled her into his arms, kissing the top of her head. "I'm such an idiot. I should have lost you so long ago. I don't deserve to have you keep coming back to me, yet for some reason you do." 

"It's because I love you," she mumbled into his chest. 

"I love you too." Once again he kissed the top of her hair, before she looked up at him. 

"You're beginning to sound a bit like me." The sound of his laugh sent a shiver down her spine, and she couldn't help smiling. They must have taken a big step recently, if they could get back from an argument this quickly. She remembered the endless anger and separation that they'd gone through at various times over the last few months, and she was glad they'd got past it. Once more she smiled at him. "Dinner?" He grinned at her wickedly. 

"Dessert." 

*** 

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